Today I'm sharing a beautiful guest post from the talents Janet Carr of Little Feet Designs. I hope it inspires you as it did me when I read it. Enjoy

The Details – no matter how small…

By the time I was old enough to appreciate the little (less known) facts in each of our lives that make us unique... for me, it was a little too late. Both of my parents and most of my immediate family were gone and how often I wish I could give my mom, aunts or uncles a ring to ask them a simple question. You know those simple questions like... 'The beautiful broach of Grandmothers that I have - where did she get that?' I'm sure at one time or another we have all had those small questions and wonders surface.

While we can't go back and create information that is no longer there... we can start with our current selves, document our time here on earth and create our own 'best seller' for our families and future generations.

I never really thought much about the small little things of our lives until I started following Ali Edwards from Ali Edwards Designs and Jennifer Wilson from Simple Scrapper. They have both taught me how important it is to document... document everything, no matter how big or small. Tell that story, jot down the details, keep those memories alive. It doesn't have to be perfect... it just has to be told.

I am a huge fan and follower of Liz Lamoreux and her writings. She is poignant, expressive, creative, eloquent, and raw with honesty - a true 'wordsmith'. While I do not know her personally, I feel like I do... by the way you hear her voice through her words...

This is me.

The me who finds herself reaching all the way down into the crevices where her true wisdom waits.

The me who forgets to change the laundry, wears the same outfit for three days, and walks through the dynamite and joy of toddlerhood.

The me who has no idea how it will unfold but grasps courage anyway.

The me who seeks a softening, an understanding, a touch.

Yes, this is me.

Beautiful, twirling life dancer, heart open to all of it, choosing love anyway me.

Liz Lamoreux

The Moments – what makes you laugh, cry, love, forgive…

It is easy for us to get so caught up in the daily grind, just going through the motions, never stopping to think about why we like something or why we don't. How often do we stop to think about… is there one event or several (whether historical or personal), that has emotionally moved you? Are they good or bad? Have they changed you in ways you never thought imaginable? How have they shaped you? These can be very personal and will be as different to each of us as we are different individuals.

How often do you stop to think about what makes you laugh, cry, love, forgive, the words we live by... what we know to be true in our lives. Over the years you’ve developed a set of beliefs, the basis for your most fundamental viewpoints, way of life and rights as a human being. These are the key element to your happiness, thoughts, beliefs, decisions and arguments. But how many of those in your life actually understand the language used by you? Give yourself, family and friends the opportunity to understand the habits you have and the morals you've been practicing. Document the details of you.

Have you ever stopped to look at yourself from the outside looking in? I recently read a wonderful article by Mark Epstein, MD (psychiatrist) and I want to share an excerpt of that article with you... he said...

A friend had an Indian guru who was the embodiment of love, and the guru died. Bereft, my friend went back to India and stayed with the guru's principal disciple, and one day the disciple said, "Do you want to see the precious thing the guru left for me?" Then he pulled out something wrapped in an old Indian cloth and ceremoniously uncovered a beaten-up pot. He said, "Do you see?" My friend answered, "No. What are you trying to tell me?" And with a mad glint in his eye, the disciple said, "You don't have to shine!"

I have found that idea so helpful: You don't have to shine, In my life, I've been lucky enough to befriend many spiritual teachers, and to see that they didn't shine either. They were normal people with normal problems. Of course you should try to make the biggest life possible, but be realistic.

If everyone were perfect, we wouldn't be in the human realm. And we wouldn't be developing our hearts.

I Don't Have To Shine... but we all want to live the biggest life possible. We are all normal people with normal problems trying to get through life the best way we know possible.

Your Life – what makes you ‘you’…

Have you ever thought to document your true feelings by writing a letter to yourself? I see so many people going through life seeking validation. They are looking for someone or something to stamp them with a seal of approval, a single statement which proclaims that they are “worthy and special” as a person. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with seeking the approval of others, so long as we understand that validation that has merit, and is permanent, can only come from within.

We are so inundated and bombarded with external social data on a daily basis... telling us how we should look, feel and act - keeping up with the Jones' - that we sometimes forget that we are ok... just being who we are.

So, how does one achieve internal or self-validation? The answer is simple, albeit not always an easy one to accept because it requires us to be brutally honest with one’s self. This process leads to an honest recognition of who and what you are in a non-judgmental stance, nothing more, nothing less. It results in you recognizing both your positive and negative qualities. Once you have achieved a brutally honest relationship with who you are, you are encouraged to advance your positive attributes, and correct, replace, or simply argue away your negative attributes. While this process is never-ending, you will reach a point where you can look at yourself honestly and declare yourself to be at least okay.

Self-validation is simply a recognition that you are a complete and whole person, and that you are okay as you are. You recognize that you do not need anything or anyone external of yourself to declare that you are okay as a person, you have the power to do that yourself.

I feel it is so important to take a moment and reflect on the things in your life that you allow to have power over your value as a person and remind yourself that you are worthy just as you are. If you can work to appreciate what you have or can do, but not allow it to define your sense of worth then you are well on your way to self-validation.

In Conclusion…

I document the details because I want my son, and the generations to come, to know the minutiae of our family heritage… the value and significance of grandmother’s vase and how it symbolized 'the great depression' to our family. I don't want it to be just another 'something' on the shelf.

I document the moments because I want my son, and the generations to come, to know what makes me laugh, cry, love, forgive, and the words I live by. . I want my son to know that he doesn’t have to be perfect and shine above all. He doesn’t have to live up to the expectations of the world; he just has to live ‘his’ life to the fullest.

I document my life because I want my son, and the generations to come, to truly know my positive and my negative qualities. Have you ever said to yourself 'I wonder why they act like that?', 'I wonder why they did that?'. We are who we are from an accumulation of our life experiences.

Several years ago, came the time to put my old family home on the market. It was my task to clean out my mother's house and get it ready to sell. The whole time I was clearing out her house; I can’t tell you the amount of times I asked myself… Where did this come from? Why in the world did she keep that? What the heck is this other thing? And… What was she thinking? How I wish I had some form of documentation to help me understand her life, know what really made her tick.

All of these different aspects of our life are things I find to be so worth remembering and recording. Tell that story, jot down the details, and keep those memories alive. It doesn't have to be perfect... it just has to be told.

Some questions to ask yourself and document…

• Do I feel I am living the life I was meant to live?
• What is a recent confession to yourself?
• What does it mean to you to live fearlessly?
• Am I happy right now?
• How often do I take time to reflect on the present?
• In what moment of my life have I felt the most radiant?
• Do I trust my own inner voice?
• Am I holding on to the past or can I let it go?
• Do I always expect a certain outcome?
• What are the greatest wounds that I've healed?
• Do I follow my heart or my head?
• Do I feel my life is abundant?
• Do I believe I can create the life I want?

Thoughts To Ponder…

Studiously avoid euphemism. People try and sugarcoat the tough facts about themselves by putting them in the best light possible. They say "Well, I was going to get to it, but then there was that big news story today" and not "Yeah, I was procrastinating on it and started reading the news instead." Stating things plainly makes it easier to confront the truth.

Embrace your failings. Be willing to see the worst about yourself. Remember: it's much better to accept your shortcomings and try to improve, than to continue sleepwalking through life as if I’m the only one who doesn't know it.

Reverse your projections. Every time you see yourself complaining about other groups or other people, stop yourself and think: "is it possible, is there any way, that someone out there might be making the same complaints about me?"

Look up, not down. It's always easier to make yourself look good by finding/pointing out people even worse than you. Yes, we agree, you're not the worst person in the world. That's not the question. The question is whether you can get better - and to do that you need to look at the people who are even better than you.

Find honest friends. There are some people who are just congenitally honest. For others, it's possible to build a relationship of honesty over time. Either way, it's important to find friends who you can trust to tell to tell you the harsh truths about yourself. This is really hard—most people don't like telling harsh truths.

Take the outside view. We're always locked in our own heads, where everything we do makes sense. So try seeing what you look like from the outside for a bit, assuming you don't know any of those details.

REMEMBER. You don't have to shine for the whole world... just for yourself.

Janet

 

Hi, my name is Janet Carr, up until recently I was blessed to be a SAHM to one teenage boy and have been happily married for 25+ years. My husband and I have now found ourselves as empty nesters (and oh so not ready for it). Our son is in his second year of college at Sam Houston State University and is in the SHSU Bearkat Marching Band, so most fall weekends you will find us in Huntsville at the games. We have one little rescue dog named Ali and we live in Cypress, Texas which is about 30 miles NW of Houston.

I have a BFA in Graphic Arts and Advertising and I am retired from a career in city politics, I used my minor - Public Relations - rather than my major (I was the one that was always behind the candidate). Due to the long hours and job demands, we decided that it was not a 'family friendly' career... so, we weighed all of our options and I was very blessed to be able to retire and concentrate on what truly are the most important things in my life... my family, my faith, my friends and my love of designing.

I started traditional scrapping in 1999, joined the digital scrapping world in April 2008 and in March of 2010 I started my own line of digital scrapbooking products - Little Feet Digital Designs. I absolutely love digital designing (my family said that since I spend so much time at my computer that it needed a name, so my son named it 'Sheldon'). I love taking photos of anything and everything and love scrapping those little moments in life that mean so much!!